Life

There is pain in my heart. There is pain all around me. I want to die, really. I have no friends. I don’t like anything anymore. The whole world is against me. Everything I have done in life is useless, wrong, stupid, and more. I shall go and die soon. Goodbye world.

Supress the emotions… for they are temporary.

Sometimes, it’s the talents in you that make you feel better. But sometimes, it can also make you extremely psychotic. My strengths are perhaps being used in the right way, but I guess it gets annoying when you’re the only one they can rely on for something.

Also, on the 12th, having OP exam. Everything seems settled, except a skit, which needs video in the background… I really hope this goes fine, for it may be my first and last “A” Level exam ever in Innova Junior College.

Thinking of alternatives too, really. I am going to. Found certain things that caught my attention. And well, it just depends whether I get promoted first…

Tired of Life… REALLY.

This week has been a week full of ups and downs. Just got back results for some of my papers. Failed 1 subject, and I know I failed 2 more (i hope not). Which means I only can pass 2 subjects. I know I didnt work as hard as some of my friends. And even more obvious, I don’t even do Mother Tongue. So, I HAVE TO DO WELL IN ORDER TO BE PROMOTED. And i get insulted that sometimes im hallucinating to myself that my efforts are so glorious. But actually, they are just not even UP TO THE STANDARDS that the answer scheme gives. I am happy I passed 2, but what does it mean? Only 2 subjects!!! I don’t see any form of improvement from few months ago. Will my project work My other peers who I thought were slacking off, actually did well. That’s good for them!! (:

Now let’s skip to the social part…. recently I had problems with my civics group. And now, relations are better. But it’s better if I keep a low profile and don’t talk too much crap. If I do, the same routine will start again. I found it upon myself too that I made them really annoyed with me. All I have to do is just to be quiet…

Some parts of school have been annoying me, like this annoying thing just now in the hall. We could have just easily gone if not  about some dog-gone survey, WHICH I COULD HAVE DONE TODAY! But it’s in the past. Let’s move on.

My special interest too has been annoying me. I want to travel to different areas for different pictures. But, I am always restricting myself to the familiar 6 places. it’s no fun. and it annoys my Service leader friends. And worst part, some think im wasting my time. sigh…. my god-brother leaving next year, and he intends to go back to driving bendy, which is quite stupid because he’s going to get fired if he gets just 1 more accident. I hope to persuade him, but im just a teenager, why would anyone listen to a teen?

Sometimes, I also feel like im treated like some form of punchbag. When some of my friends are angry, they assume I will be ok, but they don’t know what the impact is on me.

And here it comes, the good parts. Sure, I have friends who care and I cherish their friendship and also the things they do for me. (: So many good things have happened with them this year. But all these weird happenings in my life can’t make this year the best damn year of my life.

I am just tired of living. I want to die. Too many ups and downs. I may have friends and family members who care. But well, all these can’t shape up to the shit of life.

3 weeks to end of PW, 5 weeks to the end of JC1 2009!

It’s 5 weeks till the end. I am anticipating it! Well, relations in class are getting better. And somehow, making the first step is difficult. It’s very painful to see me in a totally different light now. Last time, I would be DYING to talk about anything, but now, im just keeping all to myself. sigh…. I do admit fault at making them irritated. But now, I can’t look back. Just move on. They aren’t devils. They are just teenagers, like me… just that sometimes what they do may be unforgivable.

Pain

It’s very painful now. Inside my heart, all the memories come back. Good and bad ones. What makes it worse is that those good memories I had are with the same crowd I have extremely horrible ones. It pains be greatly, and the nightmare may never end. Can’t sleep at night. Can’t study after dinner. It’s really giving me nightmares. Waiting for the 13th of November. It will all be over. A fresh start next year. But the weeks between 13th – 27th give a buffer time for me to decide. Just 6 more days till the exams are over. And another 30 more after that till the whole cycle of project work is done.

11 more weeks to go.

Can”t believe it, 1 week of holidays has just been eaten up. Did well… nearly 90% of my homework as of 6:32PM. Still have I&R and insignificant geography to do. Well, anyway. 1 month to go till my fate is decided. And quite honestly, I am on the verge of not making it. But I am going to force myself to. I guess I’ve wasted too much time on unnecessary stuff. And found it upon myself that I need to turbo-charge and just revise, damn it! >( A friend’s father has grounded her till her exams finish. And what about me? I roamed about so freely for the 9 days. Not regretting it, because I enjoyed myself. But I need to now prioritize. 26 days more, and I am going to full-force study, even if PW’s a bitch.

Something else. This is more of a acknowledgment to someone whom I may never see again. Thank you so much for treating meals, even when I wanted to pay by myself. Thanks for all the funny nonsense and crap you’ve shared. And I know I may never find someone like you, but all the best in the casino business. (: Thank you, Lee Chee Peng…just wished you could have just driven one last time this week..

Sunny pictures

It has been a while since I last took LOADS of bus pictures. And here they are. Enjoy!

SMB3C (AMDEP 67) on Service 67 with the NEA's Dengue Fever campaign.

TIB577K (WLDEP 171) on Service 171 showing a advert of a Singapore Art Museum exhibit.

SMB35K on Service 961. An uncommon cameo which I hope will surface to 961 to be made into a wheelchair-accessible bus (WAB) service.

TIB495M (AMDEP 67) on Service 67 bearing Marigold Full Cream Milk advert. The bus is still struggling and always automatically goes to turbo... Poor bus..

TIB602X (WLDEP 61) on Service 61, bearing Ademco Security ad. The EDS, as you can see, is dying. Maybe she may get her EDS unit replaced soon?

I just wish everyday that I am free will have wonderful weather like this! (: see the colours of the buses? They are so nice and vibrant. One of my happiest posts ever!

Can’t

I want to just be free. Be free to live on my own, with no barriers AT ALL.

I see no point in trying anymore. Just give into them, listen and shut the fuck up. All humans are stupid anyway…

Can’t be physical. Can’t even just do a light punch or hit on the back, even to guys.
Can’t be suicidal. I must live for my loved ones.
Can’t be sensitive. Otherwise I get bullied.
Can’t shut people up. Otherwise, they will treat other people better than me.
Can’t stop listening to stubborn people. They need a listening ear.
Can’t stop being healthy. Need MCs, and I prolly get questioned.
Can’t stay out whole night. For good reasons of course!
Can’t be sad. Otherwise, people mistake me to be emo.
Can’t be fat. Otherwise people nag and advise me on diet.
Can’t don’t do homwork.
Can’t leave JC unless I prove myself worthy.
Can’t turn back time.
Can’t make Singapore more breezy.
Can’t live in my fantasy world.

I WANT TO BREAK FREE!!!

1,450 New SBS Transit buses coming soon.

SBS Transit Invests $ 159 million In New Buses; Half of its Bus Fleet Will Be New By 2010

SBS Transit’s fleet renewal programme continues unabated with its latest order for 350 new buses worth $ 159 million. This brings the Company’s total investment in new buses over the last three years to $ 586 million.

The latest order for 350 single– and double–deck buses will significantly lower the average age of SBS Transit’s bus fleet to slightly over 8 years from about 11 years currently. Indeed, with the addition of the new buses, one in two SBS Transit buses on the road will be new.

The new buses, which are expected to roll out in 2010, are from two Swedish bus manufacturers – Scania and Volvo. The Scania order involving 200 single–deck Euro V buses is worth an estimated $ 72 million while the Volvo order of 150 double–deck Euro V buses is worth about $ 87 million.

In all, SBS Transit will have 1,450 new buses in its fleet.

SBS Transit Executive Director, Mr Gan Juay Kiat, said: “We have been renewing our fleet over the last three years to provide our commuters with a more comfortable and safer ride. The new buses are also environmentally friendly which is a key consideration for us. We have also selected those that are friendlier to the disabled and the less mobile. We will continue to invest in more new buses going forward.”

Taken from www.sbstransit.com.sg

My views: WOW! After the 900 Scania K230UBs that have arrived in Singapore, more buses shall be coming. 200 more sian-ias and 150 more Volvos! Well, SBS Transit can be said to be big, and hopefully, their bus fleets will get better. And more services and better bus allocations? Hmm… Let’s wait and see for these buses to come.Most of these Scania K230UBs have replaced the pioneer old Volvo B10M Mark 2s, Scania N113CRB and now the Mercedes-Benz o405 fleet. Most likely, the next 200 will  replace the Volvo B10M Mark 3s.

A Scania K230UB, SBS8036X, plying Service 174's route. SBS Transit has already 900 of these buses operating on their revenue services. And they have bought 200 more, which are expected to come to service very soon.

So much drama!

Hello people! Ok, my blog is like going dead? Ok, well, basically, it’s time just to blog about something that happened on Saturday. Went out with my secondary school friends to AMK Park. Well, let’s fastfoward that to 1030PM. Reached my house at 2230, then i searched my bag for my key. I panicked because I couldn’t find it. So i frantically kept on searching for like maybe 45 minutes? Then I got too tired so I rested, and then realised, “Oh my god! My parents are only returning tomorrow, and Arjun (me brother) only finishes duty at 12 plus”. So I was STRANDED. Then, with the money I had, i walked all the way to Bukit Batok and took NR8 (TIB809S) to City Hall area. The took NR1 (TIB531S) for a few stops to St Andrew’s Cathedral, which was obviously not worth it but I was too lazy to walk. Then, at around that time, it was already like 2AM in the morning, only the 7-Eleven was open. And they didnt have coins. Took some bus photos until… my camera battery died. :’( So, crossed the road and took NR2 (TIB827P) just for joyrides. Would say the NightRiders are well utilized on this particular Saturday. Reached WRI at 0350, and waited till 0543 for 858. Took TIB479K to CGA, transferred to 24 to eunos, and 61-ed to Bukit Batok on the oldest O405, TIB426M. Ate breakfast, then took 77, 970, 970 again and 173 home. My brother only came to the house at 1310 thanks to delay in his duty. So yeah, rested.

TIB535G (WLDEP SP) cameo-ing SMRT Service NR2. This was the ONLY bus I could photograph.

Went out again for fun after that, and this time, I BROUGHT MY KEY! But when I came back, and inserted the key inside, it couldn’t oepn. So I used a little force, and it broke. So… at that moment I felt like banging my head. It was so scary. Waited for like 2 hours for parents and the locksmith to come, and change the lock and stuff. Technically, it’s my fault, but well, the lock has already been not working well since… maybe last year?’

Now here comes the killer of all. Yesterday, when I came back from school and opened my bag for the key, I FOUND THE OLD HOUSE KEY! :@ so i wasted like more than 40 hours of my life for well, buses and experience? hope it was worth it. WEIRDEST DAYS EVER!